This post should really be on my science blog, but I thought what the heck…

I have discovered the secrets of the pyramids, and have found out how the Egyptians and the ancient builders in Peru, Yucatan, and Asia, with only primitive tools, raised and set in place blocks of stone weighing many tons!

Edward Leedskalnin.

The FIRST thing you should do is watch this guy move an 8.7 tonne block of concreet all by himself using nothing more that a few planks of wood and some rope. There are no levers or pulies (which of themselves would be completely fair to use.)

THEN read the Edward Leedskalnin. quote above AGAIN. He NEVER CLAIMS to have discovered Anti-Gravity! He says he uses simple tools to move heavy blocks around!!

The secrets to the Universe is 7129/6105195 – That’s according to ‘Levitating Ed.’ a Latvian (now dead) by the name of Edward Leedskalnin. Whether the story is true or not of how one man built his own castle in Florida using blocks of solid stone weighing up to 30 tonnes using nothing more than simple tools is apparently an unsolved mystery.

It is assumed (by the locals) that a feat such as this, could only be accomplished by a man of such genius, that not only had he mastered the use of pulleys and levers, but – some say, it could only have been accomplished through the use of anti-gravity technology.

“My first impressions of Coral Castle were,” said Simon Nicol, a 42 year old science buff “I wasn’t exactly staggered by the height of the building – not wishing to sound too cynical, but it’s not exactly the Seers tower.”

“The builder [Ed]” Simon continued “is said to have spent his entire life constructing this work of art – impressive though it is. I am led to wonder – why, when an anti-gravity field that could surely have raised a weight to an extraordinary height was only used to raise a block of stone to an air-thinning atmospheric pressure reducing, oxygen starved stratospheric solar radiating altitude of 20 feet”?

“From what I’ve been led to understand on the subject,” continues Simon – “the secret to anti-gravity lies within the correct dissemination and implementation of the clues imbued within the mathematical symbology of a painting adorning the walls and ceiling of a Masonic Temple – the design for which has been handed down through the successive generations of Master Mason’s.”

This of coarse is not a Dan Brown novel, but a purported reality. Unfortunately the technique for levitating a 30 tonne block of stone using nothing more than two rolls of sticky-backed plastic, a piece of string and a lightly smoked haddock, have been kept a closely guarded secret, one which is only to be revealed at the time of  ‘the knowing’ when it is said that all – tall stories and fanciful yarns with ludicrous explanations will finally be explained. Utterly blowing the gaff on modern scientific theory and thus proving all scientists to be nothing more than charlatans. Due process, peer review, repeated experiment and logical deductions based thereon are in fact nothing more than a farce – a cover up if you will, to extract grant money from honest tax payers.

“A new age of scientific understanding is on it’s way bringing with it a paradigm-shift (pronounced “para-dime”) that will totally blow the roof off current scientific theory, an age where every psudo-scientific nitwit and crackpot will be exulted above all – and the perfectly sane, highly intelligent, Nobel prize winning – masters of their field, will finally be humbled, as some delusional crank levitates a 30 tonne block of stone above his head using nothing more than a simple magnet, two bits of copper wire and a particularly large Magic Mushroom.” (Somehow I don’t think the magnet or copper wire would be strictly necessary – but then who am I to argue).

Stunning! That’ll show em’

WARNING: Don’t let highly intelligent, extremely well educated scientists tell you what the facts are!

“What do those jokers at CERN honestly think they’re doing!? I mean having the worlds greatest scientific minds spending over 20 years building the most advanced and complex machine that has ever been constructed is an utter waste of time and tax payers money. Forget all this CERN malarkey accelerating a beam to 7 TeV and above searching for the mythical Higgs Boson – Why oh why did I ever bother studying for a degree in Astrophysics from a reputable University when all I had to do was ask Ed?”

Coral Castle: Florida – “Don’t go floating off now…”

An up and coming tourist destination for the mentally impaired – not far from the town centre and within easy reach of a canteen for tea and biscuits. A gift shop providing numerous take home anti-gravity paraphernalia such as; anti-gravity bra’s, anti-gravity face cream and those oh so necessary anti-gravity weight loss pills.

Basic classes in Mathematics and Newtonian Mechanics are also available upon request for the more die-hard conspiracy theorists.


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