ee-co-uk“The wrong sort of Contract”

So my contract with EE ran out at the beginning of this year (we’re now in July) and so I moved from a standard two year contract that pays both for the phone and for air-time and moved to a SIM only contract. The deal I got was for £7.50 per month which includes 500 minutes, 500GB and unlimited texts. Sounds like a good deal right?

Except my bill is never – ever £7.50. Instead it’s still £3 – £20 more. When I speak to EE about this I get:

EE: (paraphrasing) “Ohhh well since we moved your account it’s no longer on direct debit so we charge an extra £2.50 for that..”

ME: OK. I didn’t realise there was no longer on direct debit; so I had them move it back. I paid the extra and made a mental note not to do that again.

The next month still the bill comes in at more than £7.50. So I get in contact with EE again and…

EE: (paraphrasing) “Ohhh well even though you may not have made any calls or even remotely used all your data you did listen to an answerphone message for 60 odd seconds whilst you were in Spain so I’m afraid there’s another £20 charge for that…”

ME: OK. I didn’t realise that listening to an answerphone message for 20 seconds would cost me £20. I’ll make a mental note and be sure not to do that again either!

The next month the bill comes in and STILL it’s more than the agreed amount of £7.50

EE: (paraphrasing) “Ohhh, yes I can see it on your account. Apparently you sent four emoticons.”

ME: Emoticons? You’re charging me for sending those stupid images and ridiculous smiley faces?

EE: (paraphrasing) “Ohhh yes. I’m afraid that emoticons don’t come under your ‘unlimited SMS’ nor do they come under your regular data plan.”

ME: Sorry? So you’re telling me that an emoticon doesn’t come under the heading of ‘data’. Why? Are you telling me “It’s a different sort of data”? A type of data that you’re not normally used to relaying? One that’s more expensive and needs a special kind of charge or something?

EE: “It’s outside your plan sir.”

ME: Send me a bill next month for £7.50 or the past 13 years I’ve been with Orange/EE you can stick it up your bottom and I’m moving to another provider. You’ve been taking the piss for far to long and I’m not having it any longer.



ipad-pro-9in-rosegold-witb-201603It’s extraordinary isn’t it? Such a successful company designs everything they do with right handed people in mind. If you’re left handed – fuck you. That’s basically Apple’s message. The way that your iPad switches off, the volume controls are on the underside. The way all the software works. That you have to swipe in from right to left…

Do you think they care? Of coarse they don’t. They’d like everything to be perfect for everyone of coarse because that makes them more money and even more people would love them.

BUT if you have a side to to pick on. If you wanted to insult and abuse a billion people and get away with it without sounding racist or classist or theist or any other kind of ‘ist’ pick on people who are left handed. Honestly fuck ’em. There’s no law anywhere in the world protecting them so it’s not as though you’re going to sound like Hitler or Donald Trump or anything is it?

You know there are still in this day and age people (other web designers) who still bother catering for users with IE6. What a bunch of numpties eh? But what these designers are doing is catering for as many people as they can.. Even though everyone (supposedly) who uses Windows instead of Linux is stupid – and if you’re still using IE6 it means you’re out of date, out of touch, old and stupid  They still cater for IE6 because it’s an inclusive market and possibly even an important market because for anyone that out of date it probably means they are catering for large businesses that simply can’t update because of corporate policy, vast cost, or dedicated software that is specifically written to work with IE6 and having it updated is either impractical or impossible.

Even though it’s wrong, unethical and possibly even illegal to use slang or other deragatory terminology to describe people of other races as niggers, coons or to use some other ‘Urban’ terminology such as spicks, whops, curly-wurly’s, nig-nogs, itai’s, argie bargies, pomms etc.. I think you get the idea by now…

But if you’re 20% of the planet that’s left handed? Fuck you. Apple think you’re scum and you can go on having everything upside down and you can go on having all the buttons in the wrong place. You and all the other left handed bastards out there can go and fuck yourselves – You have to – and you will – adapt to the right handed way of life.

Rebel scum.

No offence is intended to any race, creed or culture in this post (but if you’re left-handed like I am, welcome to this side of the brain.)



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I know this is a little off topic but I enjoyed listening to this post of Rupert Sheldrake’s so much that really I think everyone should listen to it. He’s so honest and direct, witty and entertaining that I’m sure I will listen to this again and again…

I hope you enjoy this man’s rhetoric as much as I have.



Blood and Wine

Generally the programmers are aware of the problems with their code and just don’t have time to fix them. It’s understandable given tight deadlines and release schedules. The first release of the ‘Blood and Wine’ DLC for the PS4 has unfortunately quite a few. I’m listing the ones I’ve come across personally though I have read about a number of others that I haven’t yet seen.

Firstly I would like to say The Witcher 3 is a stunning game. A remarkable achievement and I hold it’s programmers in the highest esteem. The Blood and Wine DLC is absolutely terrific and worth every penny and I would highly recommend the purchase to any Witcher 3 owner.

Here I’m just pointing out some of the glitches / bugs (unexpected features) that players might / will come across whilst playing the Blood and Wine expansion that are worth looking out for. Bear in mind this is the initial release of the game without any patches…

There are some BSOD’s (Blue screens of death) which I can’t really explain what happened to crash the game, all I could do was to send error reports to CD Project Red in the hope there’s enough information to help them track down what went wrong.

Children running – err with a single animation frame. They just look as though they are floating about the place.

Slyzards (near the Fort Ussar Ruins) a wounded one won’t ever die the other one is easy to kill but still shows it’s energy bar as partly filled. Also don’t pick up this trophy – currently if you do the screen will go black and the game will go to a loading screen that never ends…


Potions not being consumed in a pitched battle, so you try again and again and again and nothing nothing nothing – dead. Super.

Geralt not swinging his sword right in the middle of combat. Dead again. Super.

North Hanse base bug

North Hanse base. Must have killed like 50 guys and a number of dogs. Climbed into the tower, got up to the top killed the ‘boss’, emptied all the chests and everything I could find… and still there’s a yellow circle around it (meaning I haven’t completed the mission). What gives? Humm waited for several minutes and moved right to the edge of the ledge by the tree and  bingo!

Bugs found whilst playing the main game – no DLC’s

In the middle of a pitched battle Geralt puts his sword away for no reason at all. Even still with Version 1.22 released on 21/6/2016

Looking straight through Geralt’s head. It’s as though the camera has been moved to the middle of his brain.

People walking ten feet up in the air.

The sound completely goes haywire. It’s only after playing it for quite a number of hours of play but the sound completely looses what it’s supposed to be doing and starts playing random garbage. This bug has been in there from the very beginning and even patch 1.22 doesn’t fix things.

But this one really gets me.

This is not actually a bug but I find it incredibly irritating. Check this. There you are a Witcher who spends his entire life fighting pitched battles against all sorts of terrifying monsters and bandits. You’re armed with your grandmaster crafted armour of the highest possible standard. You have swords with runes emblazoned upon them. You’ve defeated The Wild Hunt, saved an Immortal from eternal torment and damnation and saved numerous villages and towns from the forces of evil – And then what? Some bloke standing by a signpost makes a snide remark about you so you go to teach him a lesson – and with one or two swings of his sword BAM you’re dead. So you try again BAM dead. Basically any random flipping bloke in the entire Witcher 3 world can kick the shit out of you with ease. Random guard beside a bridge will kick the shit out of you. Random flipping dude walking along the street – kick the shit out of you.

So why on earth does the world need Witchers? You don’t need some highly trained monster slayer. Just send the bloke from the fucking pub to go kick the shit out of everyone. The decision to make guards practically invincible is really, really stupid. It would be a lot more fun if you could kill them all or set loads of them to come rushing at you.

Other irritating stuff that aren’t really bugs.

You know when you go to pick something up or activate something or select something there’s that cross in a circle (PS4) button that needs to show up? You know the one, you’re right next to it but it’s not showing because you need to go forward a bit, no too much, back a bit, no damn, left a bit, right a bit, nope turn around and try approaching it again… Really, really annoying.

When Geralt is walking down stairs and trips and tumbles then makes that overly dramatic groaning noise. Ahhh!

The scrolling of the world map – jerk, jerk, flicker, flicker. It’s a 2D map for goodness sake. Couldn’t they just generate a bitmap and scroll it smoothly? They’re making whatever calculations they need to do far more complicated than they need to be. The 3D engine is stunning – the best I’ve seen but scroll a simple 2D bitmap?

The Inventory, you can’t just press L1 or R1 (PS4) to skip through the selections. No you have to wait for Alchemy to draw all it’s things, then you can go to the next one and then wait for Crafting to do all of it’s things… It makes navigating through the menus far slower than it needs to be and would be a super easy fix.

Why is the Grandmaster Witcher gear so shit? It’s feline silver sword crafted by a grandmaster to the highest possible standard does 472-576 damage and yet the sword Dahlia you find in some crusty old shed or something crafted by any old numpty does 531-649 damage? It’s not even magic or special in any way. You may as well just go and buy a pound of onions from the local merchant and use that as your weapon because it’ll probably do more damage that your super-duper ultra expensive grandmaster crafted load of old rubbish.

Roach. I think it’s practically everything from he always takes the wrong path, goes the wrong side of everything, gets his head stuck between a tree and a gate. Riding on Roach is such a flipping nightmare that if the distance is less than 400 whatever’s I prefer to run.

Combat. Don’t just walk backwards, don’t even hop backwards – For goodness sake Geralt stop prancing about the place doing somersaults and turn around and run! I can’t even climb over anything a tiny little pebble blocking my path and I can’t do anything.

Swindling merchants. For example you go to the Ofieri corner shop merchant (the rune guy). You buy a greater glyph of Aard for 2971 and two seconds later if you want to sell it back to him you’ll only get 311. What a flipping con man and what’s even more irritating is you can’t stick your sword through his head afterwards to teach him a lesson, but even more irritating than both of those – Geralt paid him 3,000, then 5,000 then 10,000 then another 15,000 so he could set up shop in the first place! This is one merchant that needs a good bitch slap.

After seeing that it just wasn’t going to happen I walked away but came across another Slyzard (right by where I collected the grandmaster griffin armour diagrams). This one I managed to dispatch with ease and among the loot was a Greater Red Mutagen and Greater sign of Igni a trophy and a few other bits buy then – and here’s yet another bug the screen fades to black and the loading icon appears in the bottom right… loading… loading… loading and err loading and that’s basically it – nothing. 1 hour later it’s still ‘loading’. Wtf?


Q. I have the Superior white Raffards potion equipped but when I press the down button on the d-pad to activate it nothing happens. I press it again and again and again – nothing, nothing, nothing – dead. Wtf?

A. Clearly a massively important bug. I would exit back to the PlayStation OS, close the application and reboot both the PS4 and re-load The Witcher 3.