DIE GOOGLE DIE!
DIE GOOGLE DIE!

I simply can’t believe Google sometimes. I have a page ranking of zero. How nice. The idea is to have a Google PageRank of 10 which is what Google give themselves and probably quite fairly too as I do consider their website a little more important than mine.

The bit I find gutting is that my ranking is Zero. I write posts on an almost daily basis. I provide technical support on these pages free of charge to help friends and customers sort out their daily IT woes.

What is utterly amazing and I mean UTTERLY amazing is that after I spent well over a year designing the last version of this website in Flash 10, with some stunning graphics, 3D starfields, FREE VOIP calls to my mobile phone because I’m a Ribbit.com developer. Contact forms with interactive instant SMS/Messaging system – I was doing so badly in the search rankings that I abandoned all my work and started again from scratch – this time using WordPress 2.8 because I had heard Google likes WordPress because it can crawl the pages more easily.

So having written page after page after page of original useful content and having abandoned over a years worth of stunningly high quality work, I’m still stuck with a Google PageRank of 0!

Oh yes, the gutting bit. My friends in Shoreham-by-sea have their own computer shop and website and (bless ’em) they’re not what I would call ‘designers’ they’ve stuck up a page, which is a bitmap graphic that has their name and address – That’s it, nothing else and they have a PageRank of 3!! You can have a look at their page here No work, no effort involved in creating their site at all and yet they have a ranking of 3 – Will someone/anyone please explain this for me, because I’m loosing all train of logical thought here.

There’s another website, ‘designed’ by a company who are local to me, I use the word ‘designed’ very loosely here –  and yet again it’s one of the worst looking websites I have ever seen – and again Google absolutely love it. It’s a single image of a badly scanned business card, a bit of crappy text and a phone number and Google give it a PageRank of 2.

So just to recap:

1.5 years work developing stunning looking 3D interactive images with FREE phone calls to my mobile phone from anywhere in the world, Live news and weather feeds. For which I learnt how to program in ActionScript 3, ColdFusion 8 and MySQL 5.0 and spending on average 18 hours a day for 1.5 years and Google give it a PageRank of 0.

caspian-flash

Then it gets even better… You can scrap all your 1.5 years worth of hard work and design a website that helps out over 4,500 people per month with technical problems, you can make it search engine friendly by learning PHP and how to use WordPress which is a CMS (Content Management System) I also added a text reader provided by Odiogo.com for the partially sighted and made it as easy access as possible. Yet again Google give it PageRank = 0

caspian-php

Or you could spend no more that 15 seconds designing a webpage, give it no functionality at all. You can draw the most rubbish looking graphics imagineable with bad colour choices, terrible looking fonts and make it look like a typographic train wreck and Google will absolutely love you. It’ll be a 2+ or maybe even 3, oh what the heck anything that can look that bad – let’s give it a 7.

What can I say? I utterly, utterly HATE Google. They wouldn’t know what a quality website was if it got up and gave them a hair cut. I can’t believe how much I now hate Google.

“People are like flies mate you give ’em s*** and they swarm all over it.”

If Google were actually honest they would say “Yup, we absolutely love really rubbish websites here at Google, the more crap looking they are the better, we’re mainly looking for bad spelling, gawdy graphics and low quality content”

If anyone from Google reads I dare you to show me otherwise.

You can find a nifty page rank checking tool here http://www.prchecker.info/

UPDATE.

I just thought I’d post a lil’ ol update seeing as it’s now 4 months down the line, just to keep you posted with the latest. Firstly I’ve redesigned the site – yet again. This time I have included some Flash animations in my WordPress blog. The animations are aimed at Flash 8, but if it isn’t installed the code seemlessly drops through to a static graphic that looks absolutely identical – but without the amination. My blog has received several comments from grateful people who have been helped by the posts.

computer-services-croydon

My website now works seemlessly in 50 languages thanks to Google translation. I’m running Google AdSense, Google AdWords and Google Maps – I couldn’t be more in bed with Google if I was shagging the boss’ wife. The site also beautifully degrades depending on browser capabilities and which version of Flash is installed. It looks great on the iPhone and further functionality is beeing added daily…

Does Google now have a new opinion? No chance. Shit is still king here in Googleland. I’ve found out one thing though  that in a way makes me feel better, but then again no not really…

If you PAY for advertising and have a link from a BIG website – THEN you get a higher page rank. So basically earning your status, through being useful, high quality, well researched and highly accessible doesn’t add up to shit when it comes to a Google ranking – Get you’re money out and pay for it. You could have a truly nasty website with no indexible text in it whatsoever – just a really crappy image – pay someone to link to it from their site and Bingo! I know Google pretend to be the nice guys, but get real that’s just ploy #547374732282833-A-Rev-9161.

pagerank
*Update*

Today is the 25th February 2010 and amazingly my Page Rank has just gone up! I now have a PR of:

1

Outstanding!

Still, if only I could make my site look like a complete pile of shit I might be able to get that boosted up to 2, but hey let’s not count our chickens. Another quick observation – if Google are supposedly no longer using PageRank, then how come mine has just increased? Surely if it’s no longer used it would have stayed at ‘0’ forever?

*Update*

Today is the 24th April – It’s now looking as though I’m starting to understand a bit more about page rank. I now have a PR of:

2

Bonkers!

I believe the reason I first gained a PR of 1 was because I replaced my old Windows 2003 server with 1 Gb RAM with a Windows 2008 Web Server with a Quad core 3Ghz processor and 4Gb RAM. I believe Googlebot has taken this in to account (there’s little point in Google sending a whole pile of traffic my way if my server can’t handle it).

I believe I gained a PR of 2 because I had a word with my ISP and after a little bit of tweaking managed to get up broadband upload speed increased from 512 kbps to just over 900 kbps.

So my observations on increasing page rank are as follows:

Even though I host this site from home with nothing more than a home broadband connection with a dynamic IP. I strongly suspect that to gain a pagerank one needs to simply needs to:

a) Keep writing lots of posts, some of the pages on this site bring in a lot more traffic than others, one of my posts brings in about 40% of my traffic. It’s impossible to know which posts are going to be a hit until you’ve written them so just keep doing what you’re doing and spend a bit more time going over old posts (your most successful ones) and make them as complete as possible.

b) Optimise your site, bulky images and slow loading pages are a no-no. It’s easy to optimise your server for maximum performance and has become a criteria for search placement for Google since the beginning of 2010.

c) Host your site on a computer that’s fast enough to handle the traffic that comes your way – seriously. If you’re on a shared hosting package on some crappy server you won’t be doing your website, your visitors or your page rank any favours.

d) Connection speed. This is a major one, the faster the upload speed of your server the better.

Simon

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