That’s right kids. Installing a few thousand fonts on a Windows computer (even Windows 7) is enough to grind your 64bit computer with 4Gb of RAM to a standstill.

If you’re a graphic designer, or you’re simply trying to find just the right font to use for a logo you’re designing. Installing 1,000’s of fonts is actually quite a bad idea.

Why does it slow down my computer?

This is quite simply because Windows is badly programmed. Working with Windows is, and has always been a love hate relationship. I say this as a video games programmer – Windows really is badly programmed. Does having many thousand entries in a database grind the system to a holt? No it doesn’t.

Does having 10,000 levels to a video game lock up the processor? No it doesn’t.

The Windows programmers have simply overlooked the fact that they are completely and utterly crap. They load the entire font set and couldn’t care less that the system locks up. Adobe Photoshop will lock up (in fact any graphics program will lock up).

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind whatsoever that – if it were programmed correctly – Windows would be capable of having as many fonts as you like with absolutely no slow down at all. The trick is to not load everything into memory at the same time.

The font control in Windows should be a LOT easier to manage than it is. It should be much easier than it is to view fonts, install fonts and ‘batch’ remove Fonts. Font access should be a thousand times faster than it is and there should be no slow down at all.

What has never ceased to amaze me is that after 15 years of programming, 10’s of thousands of bugs, critical security flaws and thousands and thousands of patches, services packs, updates and roll-up packages that Windows is still crap.

Did you know that Microsoft wrote the operating system for the Sega Saturn games machine (way back in the 90’s) the result was that the machine ran so slowly all the games that were written on it ran like a dog. It took Konami to bypass the operating system completely and talk directly to the computers hardware using their own code – The result a game that utterly blew-away everything that had gone before it. The spectacular improvement in speed and game play led Sega to take Microsoft to court – and guess what? They won.

Microsoft were being sewed for being absolutely shit – and every Judge in the land agreed. The Sega Saturn was a devastating flop and it was all Microsoft’s fault.

Take it from me. The Microsoft programming team are living proof that given an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of computers really can produce an enormous amount of bullshit. That bullshit is then taken, burnt onto DVD and then sold to the unsuspecting public. The public then report back to  MonkeySoft the billions of errors they have found. The public then fill out a proper bug report and suggest fixes which then get included in the next critical release patch update.

Programmers for Microsoft known only as ‘Cheeta’ and ‘Binky’ had only this to say: Ooooo Ooooo Ahaaaaa Aahhh (they then stole all the bananas from the fruit bowl and went rampaging around the offices)

The moral of this story is :- If you’re a graphic designer use a Mac. If you’re serious about programming – use Linux. If you want to make a lot of money from doing PC repairs, fixing viruses and troubleshooting some serious technical challenges – use Windows.

The only quick fix for now – select all the nicest fonts you have installed (keep it to less than 1,000) and delete the rest. Windows is crap and there simply isn’t a way around that.

Also download Free&Easy font Viewer – Completely free and doesn’t crash your machine (that’s because it was written by someone other than Microsoft)

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